Being a minority has never been easy, no matter when in history or where in the world. Whether you’re a black person in early 20th century US, a Christian in a conservative part of the Middle East or, well… A queer or trans person almost anywhere in the world. Unfortunately, while times change, human nature does not, and while hundreds of thousands of people across the globe are actively working towards pro-LGBT laws and legislations, it might take us another generation until gay, lesbian, bi, queer and trans folk is completely accepted without any sort of prejudice. And until then, the burden of staying safe unfortunately falls on us. We can’t teach small-minded homophobes not to be hateful and discriminating, so we need to teach each other how to protect ourselves should we face some sort of danger.

It’s human nature to assert superiority over others, especially when it comes to knowledge and information. Just tell any sci-fi nerd that your favorite “Star Trek” movie is the one where Luke destroys the second Death Star and watch them implode from within with a tirade about how thoroughly wrong you are. Unfortunately, this type of impulse – to stand up and speak up when we perceive something as wrong – is present in most of us, to a certain extent, and while it has definitely helped out A LOT of people over the years, it has also definitely placed more than enough in unnecessary danger.

To get a little bit more concrete, let’s just say this – depending on how open you are with your gender identity and sexuality, people will most likely judge you. If you’re trans, or simply a gay lady who likes to dress masculine, or a gay man that can appreciate a nice shade of pink (as he should, since pink is stylish af), sooner or later you’ll encounter some whispers about yourself. You’ll hear murmurs containing slurs and offensive language. You’ll see people staring at you. The urge to stand up, confront those people and call them out on their behavior may be strong, but unlike what Tumblr tells you, no, if you do so nobody will clap and/or give you $100. At the very least you’ll go through a draining verbal confrontation, and at worst you might suffer actual physical abuse (especially if you’re a trans woman – a minority which has very regularly suffered at the hands of others.

And the worst part is that you won’t even change someone’s mind about yourself. If anything, you’ll only be confirming their own prejudiced thoughts. After all, in their minds, YOU are the one who attacked THEM. They’ll never agree that they did anything wrong at all, so there’s no real benefit to confronting them at all. You’d only be putting yourself at risk. If you overhear whispers, ignore them. If a business is refusing to serve you, agree – they don’t deserve your monetary support. If you think that there’s a chance that you might be in actual danger, do your best to leave if at all possible. No, it’s not fair at all, but in real life, it’s better to be safe rather than morally right. Of course, with all that said, sometimes you absolutely SHOULD listen to the voice in your head telling you to step in and say something. If you see another person being harassed or attacked (regardless of whether they’re LGBT or not), you most definitely should step in and say something. Sometimes, the act of interfering alone is enough to scare off attackers. And yes, if somebody is actively and directly harassing you, and there’s no chance for you to remove yourself from the situation, definitely stand your ground, especially if you can get some help.

The most important thing, however – in any situation – is ensuring that you’re physically safe. It hurts overhearing other people calling you a freak or an abomination and discussing how you’ll be going to Hell. But a knife to the side hurts a lot more. Please exercise caution and don’t pick any fights that can be feasibly avoided.